I is for Irony

So Slice was going through some old emails today, emails I had totally forgotten about. From our sibling-friendship days when I laughed at the idea of marrying Slice.

These are some gems.

D: So I am sitting at R's house because he is getting ready to go meet w/ Pres W about the mish. So I am just way bored. It really is pretty stinking sad here with out you. So have you talked with Laurel yet tell her to come out with you, because I need someone to hang with this weekend. Well R is ready to go I am out
--
D-Sizzle

Me: Hey Slice,
I decided to write you an email tonight. Because, although it may be worth getting a beating just to see you, you know how easily I bruise. It could be a bad deal. So anyway....thanks for the drive today, I had a great time. I love drives. You should go on more; take W or something, I don't know. It looks like I have to drive back out this weekend to switch cars, I'll only be there for Friday night probably. And, just so you know, I invited Laurel to come with. I'll let you know what she says about it (as soon as I find out).
Well, that's about all I have to tell you. I really ought to get to unpacking.
See you sometime D,
RJ

D: So I pretty much like going on drives too! and I bet that W would be fun to take on one or two. (or three) But we might have to take her car.
So when you said you would be coming back only Friday night you lied right? especially if you are bringing that girl. So are you talking me up to her and stuff because that would be great. I need all the help I can get, but you know not to much don't want to make it sound like I am extremely desperate.
David G is the crap. When he was on his trip he bought me a sweet shirt. Its a black one, that says "SLICE IT UP" and has the Nike swoosh. Yeah its bad.
Since you are gone now I have to go to R now for hair cuts. Its not that great either because she will probably charge me, and that's No Good. So Saturday we are going to have this sweet BH extravaganza. Its going to be the Mother of all before we all go for good. First of all we are going to go play some ball at the Church, then we are going to the lake for the afternoon then to go to the Stockmans then we are going to go make the Fire. And I say the FIRE because we are going to make it so big they are going to be able to see it from space. Then maybe have a little quiet time for some spiritual stuff. (well at least I think it would be sweet) Its going to be a killer day.
You need to call me sometime when you have time, I usually can talk particularly if it is to you. I hope you remember my # 822-7227 (oh yeah the prefix is 435 just in case)
722-4929
Well this is one of my longer emails and my now fingers hurt.
I will write you later.
PEACE

Me: D,
Your email was hilarious. I'm serious. I shouldn't have read it at work, because I was laughing out loud for a while, and the new people being trained were giving me funny looks. It was great.
Anyway, no I didn't lie about being home only Friday night. Laurel can't come with me anyway--she's gone somewhere. I'll work on talking you up to her though, I can do that.
Your shirt sounds pretty sweet. That's awesome that Dave bought it for you! The BH extravaganza also sounds like fun....definitely a killer day. Good for you guys. Are you not working then?
I would call you but it's long distance; I'll have to get a phone card. Angie's trying not to use her cell phone. Don't worry, I remember your number, thanks though. I hope you're having a lovely time in Roosevelt with all the boys.
Have a great day
R

I'll probably post more later.
Oh, and please forgive my husband's grammar and spelling (and random capitalization). I do.