4.16.2020

Quarantine

First: a snapshot. They call them "Quarantine Time Capsules" these days. W

I usually wake up around 8:30. Today it was 7:40 on the dot, thanks to an earthquake - yet another aftershock of the bigger earthquake that happened 2 weeks ago (which also woke us up). The epicenter is far enough from us that I haven't felt most of the MANY aftershocks, but I did feel this one. Hooray.

I make breakfast, we eat and clean up and start on school work. Emma gets right to business but Will takes some coaxing. Lex does whatever she wants. George needs entertaining elsewhere, or he'll be a distraction. We grab school lunch most days and try to fix it up at home.

Afternoons are full of screen time, playing outside, finishing up school, naps (for me) and occasionally piano. I still teach piano lessons once a week. Mom reads picture books  over video chat several days a week. Some days we play Boggle or have an adult chat, but not often enough.

If Slice is working, he wakes up in the late afternoon and gets ready to go. I make dinner and we eat about when he leaves for work (6:00ish). Then we clean up, read, listen to music, have scriptures and prayer, and finish the bedtime routine.

After the kids are in bed, I go downstairs to work. I've been teaching VIPKID classes from 9-midnight for 4 months. Sometimes I'm booked solid, but lately I've had gaps to fill with TV and laundry folding. I don't usually get to bed or sleep until after 1:00 a.m.


The days are long and all the same, honestly. I try to get the kids out a few times a week to a trail or a drive or something new. We have a picnic on some grass or drive to a new area. I grocery shop once a week and try to make it count. Slice works anywhere from 3 to 5 nights a week ... we have nothing else going on, so there's no good reason not to.  He's making more money than he has in 4 years. I can't complain, especially with so many people out of work right now.

We've waited every day for symptoms of COVID to appear, ever since that first call a months ago:"Your patient's test came back positive." Since then we've asked each other every few days, "Do I have a fever? Is this it? I can't smell the cinnamon rolls." Any ailment the kids have could be IT. It's exhausting joking about this.

We've talked about what to do if/when things get really bad. Does Slice not come home? Does he sleep in a tent in the yard or garage? Do I go to Roosevelt and isolate for two weeks before seeing anyone there? Some people have taken these extreme measures ... maybe they won't seem extreme in hindsight.

Gas prices are down; the oilfield is floundering. Our house won't sell anytime soon. We lowered the rent for April knowing how bad things are out there. We certainly don't want to be carrying two house payments.

So, we wait. And wait. And wait.

To Begin Again

Once upon a time I kept a blog. It was steady, in a "I write about whatever I want to" kind of way, and I enjoyed a lot of things about it.

Then Facebook and Instagram and smartphones and network marketing and branding happened in the online world, and I couldn't/didn't want to keep up. Also 4 babies and huge body/brain/family/life changes happened. I went from reading and thinking and writing real posts to snippets, photo captions. I rarely sat at a computer.

There's nothing inherently wrong with what happened in my life (or in the online world) but I do still, always, miss writing. I wrote letters and emails regularly for 20 years, and notes to family members for 5 years before that. Then my paper trail disappeared. I want it back.

So now that everything in the world has changed - not just metaphorically, but literally - I think it's as good a time as any to come back here.

12.08.2019

Emma turns 8

My dear Emma,

Your birthday is always a tender time for me. I remember the circumstances of your birth so clearly - our young family working through tough times, my determination to make your birth a better experience than Will's, the wonderful fulfillment of that wish, the overwhelming feelings I felt afterward. I was in awe of my own capabilities and the miracle of life; in awe of you, my first, perfect, baby girl. I carried these feelings throughout the Christmas season, reflecting on Mary in particular and her sacred mission to bear and rear the Son of God.

Eight years later, I feel these feelings more than ever. My perfect baby girl turned into a T1D warrior.
Last December we realized what was happening in your body, learned what it meant for your future. You submitted to poke after poke after poke. You checked your own blood sugar 5 times a day. You learned to use your carb ratio and correction charts. You got up in the night with low blood sugar and took care of it by yourself. You got a Dexcom and begged for a pump. You started talking about the resurrection as the day when you'll be cured.

We've walked this road together, sharing some incredibly difficult days and nights. This trial has made you even more sensitive to others than you were before. You are considerate, caring, bright, responsible, and creative. Your thoughtfulness, gratitude and fortitude have been a huge strength to me over this last year. We're learning and growing and getting better together.
I am again, always, in awe of you and grateful for you in my life.

Love,
Mom

6.01.2019

Will is nine!

My Will,

You are nine! Not so little anymore. You've started playing baseball this year and loved it. We loved watching you play. You had a great 3rd grade teacher and made the best friend you've ever had - Jude. It's been a good time of life. You're old enough to go play on your own, having late nights and riding bikes through the neighborhood. Any time we talk about the eventuality of us moving, you've been very vocally opposed. You don't want to leave your friends or your wonderful school, ever.

You carry the weight of being the oldest, I know. We've had a lot of change this year with Dad working three jobs and taking classes, Mom teaching from home, Emma being diagnosed and learning to live with Type 1 Diabetes. I've relied on you to help a lot - especially at meal times - and you have done so (mostly) cheerfully. You want to help dose Emma, but I don't see her letting you do that anytime soon. 😉

Right now you love baseball, swimming, friends, and drawing your own comic strips. You also love staying up late at night and will offer to do anything! if I'll let you. You'd spend most of your time playing Minecraft, Clash of Clans, or any other video game if you could. But you can't.

More than anything else, you love making people laugh. You've discovered a talent for this in your classes. It's becoming a challenge to keep this special talent from becoming a burden to your teachers. We hope to channel/direct it in the best ways we can.

We love you and have loved watching you grow! Halfway to 18, my boy!

Love, Mom

3.06.2019

George turns THREE

My dear George,

I can't believe my baby is three. It's been three years since you arrived so unexpectedly to our family. You are officially a "big boy" now, with a big boy bed and sleeping in your underwear.

You like to sleep anywhere but your own bed. You choose where to take naps, so sometimes it's under Emma's bed, sometimes it's in Lexi's bottom bunk with a fort built around you, sometimes it's in Will's or Emma's bed. I'll let you nap anywhere - as long as you sleep!

You are the light of our family. You make us laugh, you're everyone's favorite. We cheer when you wake up, hold you when you cry. Will and Emma are especially protective of and helpful to you. They rush you to the bathroom whenever you need. They help you find jackets, socks and shoes when you want to join them outside. They read to you and play with you and love you so much. You are lucky!

You've become quite a chatterbox (like each of your siblings did at this age). You have so much to say and talk about. I love hearing what is going on in your little head. You ask the WHY questions and "WHEN will we go to grandma's house?" questions, not really understanding the answers. It is endlessly entertaining.

You love Paw Patrol and any show the other kids are watching. You also love Thor with a mighty passion. You get scared of animated villains but not the live-action superhero bad guys?! You like to direct photos of yourself whenever the camera comes out. "Mom, take a picture of me doing this. And this. And this. And this. Now can I see them?"

You love snuggles, back scratches from mom, and tickle-kisses. We are so blessed to have you. Love you so much.
Mom

2.24.2019

Lex is 5!

Dear Lex,

You are five years old! You are dying to go to school (and you've been ready for it for ages). You are reading some, writing a little, and you are my little social butterfly. You want to be playing with friends every second of the day.
You are very loving and affectionate. You want kisses and hugs multiple times a day; you sit on the laps of your primary teachers anytime they will let you; you'd sit on MY lap all day if I let you! (I don't.)
If I picture you in my mind, I see you galloping everywhere you go, bossing everyone around. You like to tell people what to do - so when you play with other younger or more pliant children, you get along wonderfully. When other kids don't do what you want them to, then we have problems that result in yelling and screaming and crying from all parties involved. It's exhausting for me.
You're SO smart, as every teacher of yours has exclaimed to me. You finish sentences for your primary teachers, expound on stories in class. You have so much to say and do!
You're brave and tough and your pain tolerance is higher than any of your siblings'. You've had a hard time watching Emma get so much attention for her Type 1 Diabetes that it's become something of an obsession. You talk about Type 1 Diabetes ALL THE TIME. We've told you to stop (it seems morbid) but I imagine this is a fixture of our lives that isn't going anywhere.
I'm excited for you to start school this fall! I think it will be everything you ever dreamed  it would be. But I'll miss you when you go.
Love you so much,
Mom

12.08.2018

Emma 7

My dear Emma,

I'm in a delightful stage where I'm starting to realize what everyone means when they say their daughter is their best friend. You have been my right hand man for over a year now, and I often think about what a gift you are to me.

You like to be clean and organized, you love your brother George with all your heart. You've been sharing a room with him, and I know it's not always easy, but you won't have it any other way. You still read to him and help him with things and comfort him when he's sad. He bear-hugs you when you get home from school, and when he wakes up from naps. He misses you anytime the two of you are apart.

You LOVE fishing, roller skating,  writing, drawing, any arts & crafts you can get your hands on. You've started attending Up With Kids, where you take lessons in singing, dancing, acting, etc.

You've become quite the organizer. You like order and calm, and usually complete your chores without complaint. You're turning into fantastic reader and great student - even better, your teachers can't tell me enough about how kind and patient you are. You've been attending speech for over a year, working on your stutter, and you've been patient through it all.

You love weird things (fish, sushi, asparagus, grapefruit, baked potatoes) but hate the most commonly loved foods (donuts, cinnamon rolls, quesadillas). You've gotten better at trying new foods. You are quirky, sometimes zany, usually kind. You are fun to talk to and be with. We've recently watched Princess Diaries (1 & 2!) and you giggled through them. I am really enjoying watching you grow up and become your own person. (You're still MY person too, right?)

Love you tons,
Mom

6.01.2018

Will at 8

My Will,

You are eight years old, the age you've waited for as long as you can remember. It's been a very exciting time and a lot of planning has gone into the events of the birthday week. Memorial Day (when we went for the first time, and also bought Lagoon season passes!), Last Day of School, Birthday, Baptism. You've been pretty mature about it all.

You have thrived in Kaysville. Any time someone (usually Lex) mentions moving somewhere else, you protest mightily. "I'm in the best school in the whole world! We can't move until after 6th grade!" We've tried to be pretty open about our future and the possibilities and unknowns. It's been quite a year for us. We moved to Kaysville, spent a summer traveling, started school, lost a job, Mom and Dad both got new jobs, and Dad started taking EMT classes. We've started talking about money a lot. You've taken on more responsibility with chores and helping out at home. You have been left "in charge" for short stints of time.

You love Minecraft, Legos, Star Wars, and graphic novels. You also like to eat noodles, rice, bread, tortillas ... basically anything beige, and not much else. You requested a chocolate-chocolate birthday cake, and you got one! Your favorite people are Derek and your Dopp cousins. 

We expect a lot of you, especially your dad. He helps you with homework and studies spelling. You two love to watch fail videos on YouTube at bedtime. You love to laugh and have started "pranking" people and trying to be funny in class. I see a lot of your dad in you!!

We love you lots and have been proud of your choices. You have so much to give. I hope to help you learn how to shine.
Love,
Mom

3.06.2018

Georgie Porgie

Dear sweet George,

You are two! I'm excited because you have such big things ahead of you - talking, potty training, moving to a big bed. I'm sad because that means, for the first time in nearly eight years, I won't have a baby. You've already been in a crib longer than any of your siblings....we always needed the crib for another baby by now!

You are the joy and entertainment in our home. You make us laugh all day long! Emma adores you and entertains you in the morning while she is home. The two of you read, play, take baths, clean up, and watch TV together. Sometimes Emma even gets you dressed and changes your diapers! If you're hurt, she tries to make it better. She is the best big sister and you are lucky to have each other.
Will thinks you're the most hilarious thing on the planet, and laughs at everything you do. Occasionally it makes you mad, but usually, you love it. You make funny faces and whisper prayers (if you even whisper!) and threaten injury with your sword or pointing finger.

Speaking of swords - they're your very favorite thing. Any object that resembles a sword is used as a weapon. Even wheelbarrow handles!! It's crazy and endearing. You're the sweetest boy around, but once you have a "sword" in your hand, you become a terrifying warrior. You are a boy through and through.

You love me more than any of your siblings did at this age. You hate it when I leave even for a minute. You follow me around the kitchen asking, "Hug you me??" And how can I resist?? You climb into bed with me for snuggles. You let me carry you back to bed after you fall asleep in the car. You ask me to sing "Tuppence" at bed time or read "one more."

You adore your grandparents - still - more than any human I've ever seen. You light up when any of them are around, or even on a phone call. You were ecstatic when Grandma slept at our house one night; you were ready to snuggle up and sleep with her right on the couch!

We can't imagine our lives without you Georgie! I'm so excited for the years to come!

Love,
Mom

2.24.2018

Lucky Lex

Dear Lex,

You are four!! You've been excited for this day for months. And really, it's hard to believe you're just barely four. I'm not the only one who thinks you act older - your nursery leaders, primary and preschool teachers do too. Pretty much anyone who interacts with you can see how mature you are.

You've grown SO much in the past year. You started preschool, the last seven months of which have been at HeadStart. It's a long time away from me, 4 hrs/day, Monday--Thursday, but you love it so much I have a hard time keeping you home. So you get up and dressed every morning with Will, head out the door around 8:40, and I pick you back up at 12:45. Afternoons are spent with me while George sleeps.

The most dramatic thing that's happened to you since we moved last summer was the switch of your HeadStart teacher. You grew to LOVE Miss Kylie and when she announced that she got a job as a kindergarten teacher, you cried for hours. You still see her at school and give her hugs (you'd kiss her too, if she let you).

You're loving and affectionate, giggly and fun, as well as incredibly smart! You started reading a couple months ago after Miss Kylie suggested I start teaching you some phonics blends. You've picked it up quickly so far, and I'm excited for you to start discovering the joys of reading on your own.

Sometimes you tell me that you miss our old house. We have frequent conversations about how our lives are different now than a year ago. No chickens, less time with grandparents, a smaller house and yard, more time with Matt & Kim's family. Most of the time we're happy with the changes.

I love how enthusiastic you are about life. You want to see, hear, touch, eat and experience it all. Right now you have your own room - and we all sleep better at night, because you don't have anyone to talk to! You're a good big sister to George, and usually play well with Will and Emma one-on-one. But when someone crosses you, the whole family knows about it.

We tell you every day how beautiful you are! I wish I had your gorgeous curls! I feel like they define you and I hope they stay forever. You are so special, Lex. We love you.

Love,
Mom