It's adios reality

My newly-found fame might be going to my head.

Friday I found a biography of President Lyndon Johnson, signed by the subject, in my very own library. Pretty much the entire school knows about it by now.
Yesterday I sang in church with my brother, and people asked me about voice lessons all day!
It was awesome!
{the musical number actually wasn't my best--but we only had 12 hours' notice. dumb phone.}

Today, I'm wearing dangly earrings.....to work.

Hard to believe, I know. Earrings and I have never gotten along well, much to the dismay of my Better Half. This is probably because my ears aren't pierced, also to the dismay of Better Half. One time I got a surplus projector and screen (for $6!) from work, and I was so excited I called Slice to tell him that I had a surprise for him. His first question was: "You got your ears pierced??" Imagine the disappointment.
(And I thought he would be so excited! After all, he's like, the Projector King!)

Anyway, I can think of two previous instances in which I've worn dangly earrings. I think both times had to do with "Prom." My head has been swinging much more than usual...
...not unlike little girls with painted fingernails do everything daintily.
Only different.

(How do you feel about pierced ears?)


This just in

While going through books looking for missing publication dates, I found this
in a biography by William S. White. Why do we have a book with LBJ's signature in it? BG is now trying to find out who R.V. Larsen was/is.

{fuzzy backwards Photobooth picture with my left-middle-finger scar shown prominently}

Also, Google Reader suggested a blog (as usual), and this post made me laugh out loud.

And....I've ordered my final exam for my FINAL CLASS of undergraduate education. This is my last chance to try something I've always wanted to: taking a test without studying at all.

Should I, should I not?

Fiction M-E-Y

Is what you'll probably hear me say if you happen to walk into this library.

How long do you think this will last?

Last night after the Temple

We were sitting in the Wal-Mart parking lot, eating Crunchwrap Supremes from Taco Bell - Oh, how I love those things! - and talking about our Youth.
(I was dismayed about the baptism trip. More later.)

Slice: "You know I'm going to spank our kids, right?"
Me: "Umm.......ehh......." {We'd never actually talked about it.}
Slice: "Well I am. I don't care if it's against the law, I'll spank 'em."
Me: laughter
"That's going in the blog."
Slice: "Good."


So I used to be a knife salesman

Slice and I did some major cleaning/throwing away/reorganization last night, which made me very happy. Clean house = happy wife, no?

In one corner-box was my old leather carrying case with Cutco book, demo leather and rope, sharpening video, etc. Yes, I used to sell Cutco. I'm totally sold on Cutco; my mom has had her set for almost 30 years. THIRTY YEARS with one (free) sharpening and do you know how much use those knives have gotten?

Twelve kids, over a hundred relatives, ward and neighborhood party-hosting...
(Because for 10 years we had the biggest house...)

Forever Guarantee people. Anyway.

Slice pulled out the carrying case and was going through my stuff, no doubt chuckling at the fact that his wife used to sell knives. I guess, if you think about it, it's kind of funny.

He found my binder.
S: "Are these your receipts?"
Me: "Yes."
S: "Of stuff you sold?"
Me: "Yes."
S: "Wow, you sold that much?"
Me: "Yes, thank you--Why are you so surprised?"


Water off a duck's back. Water off a duck's back.

I am often surprised at how easily offended some people are.

That even the most personal, unassuming decisions somehow become a personal affront. A call for change is a denunciation of everything that currently stands. It's like everything turns into a moral issue.....and I don't understand.

I’ve wondered, is this especially common in a small town? Or do I just see it more because of where I live?

Perhaps I should be used to it by now. A few times during my school years the grapevine found its way to me, bringing the revelation that “so-and-so doesn’t think you like her.” My bewilderment invariably resulted in days, even weeks of rethinking everything I'd ever said and done, wondering how she could even think that. Then I would try harder to go out of my way, to be more friendly, to show how much I liked everyone.

Because I did – do – and why shouldn’t I?

I thought that only teenage girls were insecure enough to play those games. I wish I had been right.

I have opinions, but I don’t force them on anyone else. I evaluate carefully. I like to be asked what I think. My parents never talked about politics at home and when I finally asked them why, my father said, “Because I want you to form your own opinions.”
I love him for that. And I respect his opinion even more because of it.

So I have this philosophy that goes like this: Give others the benefit of the doubt. Don’t get offended unless someone attacks you personally and intentionally....even then, most of the time you should let it go. And don’t involve their family, friends, or acquaintances. It's not fair to assume guilt by association.

I keep hoping that someday, these silly little battles will cease.
After all, there's a much more important war going on on.


Why I got Married, Zwei

The REAL reason:

To get a beautiful quilt from my mother

{which is finally finished!}

I picked out the fabrics, not knowing that they would match my house - and almost everything I have in it - perfectly. Isn't she fabulous?

I scored 41

I love these lists that say "If you haven't traveled, you haven't lived or accomplished anything!" Really. Paris is in here three times, like it's the center of the universe or something.

Copy and paste the list, then highlight the things you have done in your life.

1. Started your own blog

2. Slept under the stars

3. Played in a band

4. Visited Hawaii

5. Watched a meteor shower

6. Given more money to charity than you can afford (what if you can't afford to give less? What does "afford" mean anyway? Priorities.)

7. Been to Disneyland

8. Climbed a mountain

9. Held a praying mantis

10. Sang a solo

11. Bungee jumped

12. Visited Paris

13. Watched a lightening storm at sea

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch

15. Adopted a child

16. Had food poisoning

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty

18. Grown your own vegetables

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France

20. Slept on an overnight train (If you can call that sleeping.)

21. Had a pillow fight

22. Hitch hiked

23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill (not sure about this one)

24. Built a snow fort

25. Held a lamb

26. Gone skinny dipping

27. Run a marathon

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice

29. Seen a total eclipse

30. Watched a sunset or sunrise
- many times

31. Hit a home run

32. Been on a cruise

33. Seen
Niagara Falls in person

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors (someday)

35. Seen an Amish community

36. Taught yourself a new language

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied - Doesn't take much for me.

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

39. Gone rock climbing

40. Seen Michelangelo's David

41. Sung karaoke

42. Seen Old Faithful

43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant

44. Visited Africa

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight

46. Been transported in an ambulance

47. Had your portrait painted

48. Gone deep sea fishing

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling

52. Kissed in the rain

53. Played in the mud

54. Gone to a drive-in theater

55. Been in a movie (no specifications for how big the movie was...)

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business

58. Taken a martial arts class

59. Visited Russia

60. Served at a soup kitchen

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies

62. Gone whale watching

63. Got flowers for no reason

64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma

65. Gone sky diving

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

67. Bounced a check (Um, a few actually)

68. Flown in a helicopter

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial

71. Eaten caviar

72. Pieced a quilt

73. Stood in Times Square

74. Toured the Everglades

75. Been fired from a job

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London

77. Broken a bone

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person

80. Published a book

81. Visited the Vatican

82. Bought a brand new car

83. Walked in

84. Had your picture in the newspaper

85. Read the entire Bible

86. Visited the White House

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

88. Had chickenpox

89. Saved someone's life

90. Sat on a jury

91. Met someone famous (Does the prophet count?)

92. Joined a book club

93. Lost a loved one

94. Had a baby

95. Seem the Alamo in person

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake

97. Been involved in a law suit

98. Owned a cell phone

99. Been stung by a bee

100. Visited Italy

What have you done?

Off to write my own list...



I came to a solemn realization about a week ago,
one along the lines of I have no friends.

Not that I really have no friends, because of course I do, they are really great friends and I love them dearly....but I have no friends nearby. None that I can call up to go out to dinner, catch a movie, attend a party or concert. Or even Divine Comedy.

My Roosevelt friends have effectively shunned me since my engagement to Slice. My college friends are still in college, except for Lu who is in the MTC, and not exactly a phone call away. Other friends have moved on or away, and for various reasons we haven't kept in touch.

Why is this coming up now?

Because Slice is taking his dad to a movie tonight. And it will be the second Friday night - in a row - that I'll be on my own.
{Remember all that cleaning I did last weekend? I did most of it Friday night.}

It's times like these I marvel at the change that my life has undergone in a short time. Only six months ago, if I wasn't out playing most nights of the week, I felt like a failure.

In honor of the old "single" times (which were also "college" times), I'm posting a portion of the QuoteWall we had in my 4th-semester apartment. Thanks Chantelle!
Don't worry about me, I'll be chilling with my mother and sisters tonight; always a good time. I love those ladies THIS MUCH.

§ Do you like my belly-button?—Megan (said in a sensual voice)

§ Sometimes I have dirty thoughts—Brittanie

§ I got in a staring contest with your slippers—Liz

§ Things happen, and I'll get new cinder blocks tomorrow—Chantelle

§ Oh, look! Another marshmallow!—Lu

§ It's like a mustache on your knee—Lu

§ Can you be my tomato?—Craig

§ What's more important, your eternal exaltation or…--Brittanie

§ I'm stinkin' tired—Rachel

§ I'm not a sea lion—Rachel

§ We should have a jammy-jam party and talk about our feelings—Kevin

§ Ahhh! See, I'm warmer already—Rachel

§ Kissing is gross—Rachel

§ Chantelle: I don't know why I'm eating this late. Tricia: Me neither, let's do crunches instead

§ That's because you're blind—Bonnie to Liz

§ What's the point of the internet if you can't lie about who you are?—Shane

§ I look good in Jedi clothes!—Lu

§ If you're gonna make out in front of me, I'm gonna stare at you—Brittanie

§ Is the clock permanently stuck on the the wall? (repeated over and over)—Brittanie

§ I have this really bad tendency to run into walls—Liz

§ Somebody wanna lick my elbow?—Bonnie

§ I feel like I'm in a blond joke—Brittanie

§ I'm so glad I'm not going to be celibate—Lu

§ He's a nice guy… and I like his balding head—Chantelle

§ Be your own valentine—Melanie's Chocolate

§ *sigh* I hate boys, Chantelle. Do you want a brownie?—Megan

§ What makes a whorish earring?—Brittanie

§ I think I need a teething ring or something—Brittanie

§ This is my least favorite strand of hair on my head—Bonnie

§ You need some bones in your fat—Lu

§ Why do we pray for moisture anyway? That's like dew! If you want rain, say rain!—Liz

§ There is no bathroom. Guys do not go to the bathroom—Ben

§ I need a glute massage—Lu and Brad Mortenson

§ My leg is NOT the word of God!—Chantelle

§ *Gasp* I thought you said dead girls!—Megan

§ It burns, but it's fun—Liz

§ It's probably down someone's pants—Chantelle


A Librarian's Joys

BG finally put in orders to Amazon about a week ago, so we've been getting boxes of new books practically every day this week. This means I get to catalog, laminate, label, and shelf all of them. Yay.

He asked for suggestions from me, and I gave him a list of 15 or so of my favorites. I already own most of them, but somehow every time I open a new package and see one I requested, I get really excited. As if the book was my own! Again! Maybe I'm just excited to share them with others.

An unforeseen problem: now I have to make sure these "others" actually read them. Most of the books are from my college classes, so they may be over these kids' heads or outside their circle of interest--most likely both. But hey, I'm trying to broaden their horizons here.... And I'm happy to report that Washington's Crossing has already been checked out. Now if I can just get a few to read The Very Persistent Gappers of Frip (possibly my all-time favorite), my life's work will be over.
Pathetic, you say?

Have you heard of, seen or read any Manga? This is the new PC (um, politically correct) term for Anime, formerly known as Japanimation. Apparently that word is now offensive.
[Like Lindsay Lohan calling the President-elect "colored."]

Manga and its English counterpart, the graphic novel, is sweeping the nation's school-age literature. Kids eat the stuff up. Or, I should say, some kids eat the stuff up....because this "sweeping" of the nation is only happening among a select group of people. People that might be called, by other people, "weird."
I'm just saying.

Manga reads right-to-left so, if you're like me, just looking at the book blows your mind into a million pieces. Literally. I'm finally getting to the point where I can look at one and almost comprehend what I'm looking at. It's taken some time and brain-training to get to this point. At least it gets kids reading, right?

Well, about a half hour ago I put the boxed set of Deathnote, newly-cataloged and labeled, on the shelf. [We've been receiving requests for the series for months.] I heard a gasp and looked up from my desk to see a young man staring, hand-covering-mouth, in disbelief. He stood in front of the shelf for several seconds. I thought he was going to pass out or something; instead he ran - RAN - out of the library.

He came back a few minutes later with 4 books to turn in. Then he grabbed the first 4 books of the new series, I checked them out, and he took them to his seat. I watched him for a few minutes as he gazed lovingly at the books until his class left.

I felt like Santa Claus!

I can't help but wonder, What's the big deal? This phenomenon and all the hoopla makes me curious enough that I just might read a series or a book...or at least couple of pages. Do you think that will be enough? But then I might get hooked and become weird. Who knows.


Observations of a Uintah Basin - fall edition

Isn't she beautiful?

Procrastination: the best thing ever

I'm never more productive than when I have something looming over my head that I am, successfully, putting off. And by 'something' I mean 'an assignment for my Independent Study class.'

In the last few days, I have cleaned most of my house, reorganized kitchen cabinets, rehung pictures, washed a load of laundry, blogged (ahem), grocery shopped several times (something I usually dislike), washed all the dishes even more times (something I usually hate), exercised twice (something I don't usually do period.) and.....cooked! A few meals. Don't get too excited, they were simple ones like tacos and teriyaki-chicken-with spaghetti squash. Spaghetti squash is my new Favorite Food. It's the easiest thing to cook in the world, is cheap AND healthy, goes with anything, and Slice loves it! He even loves it cold, the next day when he's looking for leftovers to eat for lunch.

Wow, isn't procrastination wonderful? My husband is so pleased with all the work I've been getting done around the house. He he he.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must finish this class in approximately 14 days. I would really like to graduate sometime. (And by 'sometime' I mean 'next month'.)


Most likely to end up poor, brilliant and ridiculously happy? Oh that's me, definitely.

A senior came in today, angry about the results of the senior personality vote.
"I am not a moocher!"
"Well, brown-nosing and mooching are the same thing, and we didn't have a moocher....so we changed biggest brown-noser to biggest moocher." Yearbook staffers are always defending their actions. (Even when they don't make sense.) (No offense if you were a yearbook staffer.)

I interjected. "Brown-nosing and mooching are NOT the same thing. Not." The kid was grateful.
And the debate continued, while I reminisced about my own senior year....

I'm sure none of these kids are as upset about their own nomination as I was about mine. Most likely to live in a shoe with LOTS of kids? Are you kidding me?? As if most likely to have the most kids wasn't bad enough, I will be living in a shoe with them, not knowing what to do.

I wasn't so bitter because I disagreed with it - chances are I WILL have the most kids out of my senior class, duh - but because of the conniving, devious, evil plot that earned me the title. My friends all voted, together, while I was AWAY. Gone HOME for LUNCH. With ROB, who earned the OTHER HALF of the title. You people are evil.

Fine, I'll admit it, I was hoping for something better. I never hoped for Best Eyes or Really Really Ridiculously Good-Looking, come on, but what about Most Ladylike or Best Laugh? Was Most Talented too much to ask? for the Music Sterling Scholar???

If you could only see the picture in the yearbook...

But no - I will go down in Union Class of 2005 history as the girl most likely to have the most kids. Or, if you will, to live in a shoe with LOTS of them. Guess I better get to work.

Hey Rob, you wanna have a contest?


I couldn't resist turning yesterday's post (after a bit of tweaking) into a wordle.
You can check out the real one here.
(Did that title make you curious? I hope so.)



Thinks I need to write more about how wonderful he is. Told me so two days ago.

Does read this blog by now.

Will probably want to add to this post.

In a nutshell:

>Terrible with time management.

>Better cook than I am. Most of the time...

>Spent hours (I know it, babe) and two trips to the store making homemade chicken noodle soup. Even made the noodles.
Then wondered why I laughed for 20 minutes straight.

>Thinks he knows everything about everybody; tells me this at least once a week. My reply: “No you don’t, stop saying that. You’re ridiculous.”

>Drooled over Ironman’s suit, house and cars. Oh wait—that was Matt.

>Likes to smooch. Loves to golf. Is pretty good at both.

>Terrific with children. Should probably be a SAHD.

>Gets hooked up with everything. I promise [prove me now herewith] you’ve never met someone who's been given more free stuff.
Clothes, golf stuff, jobs, cell phones, CARS

>Is an impulsive buyer. Gets angry when I call him that.

>Wishes we had a Wii, a working DVD player….even TV would do.

>Owns 20 million pairs of socks. Likes to wear them all in one day.

>Has seen me cry more in the last 4 months than the rest of my life combined.
Still loves me anyway.

>Makes me laugh every day.

>Gives great foot rubs.

>Totally addicted to YouTube. And in denial about it.

>Totally addicted to me. Not in denial about it.

>Is wonderful.


Growing Pains

One week ago, I was pregnant. It wasn’t really a surprise. The pregnancy test only confirmed what my husband and I had already known for almost three weeks; without ever actually discussing it, Slice and I had both mentioned our suspicions to other people.
A week ago I was scared and excited - my husband was ecstatic. I wanted to wait a while before telling people, but didn’t have a real reason. Just a feeling. So we laughed and planned, and began announcing the pregnancy to family members.

Two days ago, I wasn’t pregnant anymore. Once again, somehow, it wasn’t a surprise. My husband and I knew - before any confirmation – that the baby I carried was gone. I didn’t want to believe it.
We talked about the origin of life, the miracle we had witnessed in only a month’s time. We learned firsthand of something we had only read or heard discussed before. I gained a powerful witness of the connection between Heaven and Earth, the spirits we parents are entrusted with for only a short time.

And I wept.

Three lifetimes ago, I thought I knew a lot about pregnancy, life, mothering. After all, I’m the fifth of twelve children. My mother is a fountain of knowledge and love and wisdom. (Dad too.) I’ve done plenty of my own studying as well: Women’s History classes, classes on the history of The Family, demographic studies, research papers, personal accounts. I thought I knew.

But nothing I read, or saw, or knew could have prepared me for that. After the thinking and the talking came the pain. THE PAIN. My poor husband held me as I writhed in bed and cried, bled and cried some more. I was falling apart.

After a mere few weeks of carrying a baby, I felt loss more keenly than I have ever felt it. Everything else I'd experienced—childhood struggles, teenage inferiority complex, high school relationship drama, college ‘education’—seemed insignificant. I had written three journal entries to that baby already…and I had lost a life.

Now I can see how I was gently prepared for the experience of miscarriage. I was reading essays just the day before on other women’s experiences with it. My lovely sister went through the same thing months ago, and my mother did five times.
Deep down I knew that the timing wasn’t right; I wasn’t ready. Maybe I needed the experience to convince myself of that, and to be okay with it.

I am okay with it.

There’s one more important thing I’ve learned about the difference between sympathy and empathy. One person feels bad for you, the other has been there before. That Other Person knows what to say and do, how to comfort you—how to succor you. There is nothing more beautiful than this succoring…nothing in this world.