a little disaster for your Friday morning

We woke this morning to a phone call from my sister, who was calling to tell us about the earthquake in Sendai, Japan.

In case you forgot (or didn't know!), Sendai is where my husband served a two-year mission.  He has spent the morning gaping at live footage of the ocean slowly eating at the place he once called home.

I don't know if it's because I've never seen footage like this, or because I was there 13 months ago, or even because we've been looking at jobs in Japan, but this disaster is so devastating to me I can't stop thinking about it.  The scene replays itself over and over in my mind.  What will those people do?  Where will they go, how will they eat?  Is there anything we can do to help?

(According to Church Headquarters and the Humanitarian center, no.  We called already.)
(But we'll keep trying.)

These pictures make me miss Asia ... sort of.

So my brother is in China right now, sending us pics from Beijing, Hong Kong, the Great Wall.

Beijing was cold. Not jealous.

But I do kind of miss those sweet vans (that are everywhere!), and also Asians. I really love Asians.

Isn't that last picture awesome? Good job Brent.

The Reason

At some point in time between August and October, I had the impression that our trip to Japan would change our lives forever.

Why else would Slice and I, poor newlyweds, have the chance to go to JAPAN for a month? Sure, it's smart to travel before you have kids. Sure we were able to do it cheap because we're young and don't "need" hotels, tour buses, restaurants, or real beds. We could change plans at the last minute (several times); go wherever the wind blew us.

Still, there had to be a Reason. I believe in Reasons.

Plans.

So I've contemplated for five long months just what the reason(s) might be.

Will we adopt a child from overseas someday? Find a job in Japan, live there for months or years? Return in four decades for church service? Will I write a book inspired by my travels in East Asia? (Ha.) I'm open to possibilities.

Obviously, it could take a long time for any of these Reasons to make themselves apparent, if they do at all. But something important has already happened.

I'm finally ready to settle down.
(Bear with me here....)

I've worried for years that I might be unhappy as a stay-at-home mother. I've yearned for travel, post-graduate schooling, a mission; wondered why I married so early. Practically until our Japan trip, I was bitter about not being able to serve a mission.

No longer!

I learned some things in Japan (and the subsequent six weeks).

I learned that I love my bed and my food and family and my jobs - and most of all, my husband.

I am so happy to be eighteen-months-married and looking forward to the birth of our first child.

I admire the missionaries who devote 18 / 24 DIFFICULT months of their lives to serving others and the Lord. Nothing can replace those experiences, I know.

I am grateful for my University degree and everything I have learned in school. I'm grateful for the skills I gained, even if I'm not using them right now, because they have made me a better person.

I'm grateful for the chance I have to be a mother. I love this little dude inside of me.

My husband is going to be the greatest father in the world. I can hardly wait to see it.

All of this to say,

I am content.

That is a real miracle in itself.

The Real Story

The first time I wondered if I might be pregnant was the day we helped our llama give birth to a dead baby. I was so depressed and traumatized by the experience, I could hardly think of anything else for days. Slice didn't even know it until I broke down one night, crying over the violence and blood, the disregard for human life portrayed in our mass media.

(DaVinci Code.)

The next weekend I joked with my friend Laurel about how horrible it would be to get pregnant before our trip to Japan. Ha ha!

By the time we took our trip to Arizona, we knew; I was starting to get sick and tired. The long drive there and back was miserable. Slice was unconditionally banned from jerky.

I was so tempted to throw the announcement into this post - it would have been just too perfect - but we knew it would be a while before we'd be telling anyone.

This time, I was afraid of being let down.

"Three months," I told Slice. "Then when we can get excited."
I never even took a pregnancy test.

As you may recall, I was worried about Japan. What I didn't say -but some of you picked up on nonetheless - was that I was worried about the toll that the constant travel, strange food and beds, time difference, etc. would take on my first-trimester body. I didn't want to get sick, spend three weeks in a hotel, and ruin the trip of a lifetime for me and Slice. More than anything, I didn't want to miscarry. I wanted no regrets.

It turned out, my fears were valid and then some. I didn't even know to worry about freezing bedrooms, kerosene heaters and electric blankets, midnight bathrooms trips down CLIFF STAIRCASES, soap-less public bathrooms, caterpillars in my food. Super-hot public baths. Fainting when a sweet sister spent an hour tying me up (tightly!) into a kimono.

But I never got really sick. I am grateful for that! We took an extra suitcase full of cold cereal and instant oatmeal, as a precaution, and because I must eat breakfast food for breakfast, pregnant or not. The suitcase turned out to be brilliant - when the food was gone, we filled it with souvenirs to bring home.

Also, our trip was long enough that we didn't have to rush through anything. We could take our time and take it easy. I tried really hard to be a good sport.

One day I talked to my parents on Skype and I just couldn't wait any longer. I told them. The next day I spent over an hour on a conference call with all my older siblings. I was about twelve weeks along by then.

Traveling home was the worst part of the trip, by far. I couldn't sleep on the plane and by the time we got to LA, I was convinced that my body was falling apart. I had a splitting headache coming from the back of my neck (that had never happened before), stomachache as usual, random leg pains, and an overwhelming desire to die. Instead I took some Tylenol and slept a blissful hour on the floor of the airport before we had to catch our next flight.

Since then, things have been pretty smoothing sailing. I love my bed and my shower and my car OH SO MUCH more now.

And I am so glad we went! It was an awesome experience, like we all knew it would be. Probably my favorite part was being with Slice for a whole month, just us, before we jump into this crazy thing called parenthood.

My first doctor's appointment was last Thursday, and I was a little nervous. Oh what a day if it turned out I wasn't even pregnant! But I was. Am.

When I heard the heartbeat for the first time, I cried. It finally seemed real.

Then he did an ultrasound and -I wasn't expecting this for at least another month- told us he is pretty sure it's a boy.

WE ARE SO EXCITED.

Confessions

1. I have never thought of Japan as a pretty place.

Interesting, cultured, historically rich - sure.

But in my mind I always pictured a place with unimpressive scenery, fast-walking people who all look alike, streets so packed you couldn't move.

2. I was wrong on all counts. (And pleasantly surprised!)

The country is more beautiful than I ever could have imagined. Lush forests, quaint old villages,

tall mountains, vast ocean; it is breathtaking even in November.

Japanese people look as similar to each other as Euro-Americans do. Really. They just have less

choices for hair color so style matters more.

And the streets are not nearly as packed as the train stations. I don't recommend hauling huge

suitcases all over the place. Unless you like bruises.

3. Visiting Japan actually made me miss Europe more. Isn't that strange? All those delicious pastries, art museums, fluffy pillows, Federdeckes, operas, languages I actually understand.... also toilets.

4. I stopped caring about having soap in public bathrooms. Forget about paper towels or hand driers, warm water (or water at all), real toilet paper. It's not going to happen.

5. The bullet train really is as cool as Slice said.

6. I ate tongue, shellfish, and Japanese kimchi all in one meal!

7. Japanese people are much warmer than I expected.

8. I might actually miss those toilet seat warmers.

Did I Mention

that I am excited to come home? Very, VERY excited?

Bis Später.

Perfecting the art of the Self-Portrait

In 24 hours we will be boarding a plane for Los Angeles, California, and will arrive at our destination seven hours before we left.

That is WEIRD.

I have so many more stories and pictures I could share, and I would, but I'd hate for you all to get bored and stop reading/commenting ...

(PS- Thanks to those who did finally comment! You get prizes.)

(Just kidding.)

(But Fig, we really are sending you a prize when we get home. Sorry it has taken soooooo long.)

Anyway, do you have thoughts on that?

Slice said I had to post these pictures; he was angry that I wouldn't be serious.

We spent the first half of this week in Yamagata, a rural northwestern place that was mostly cold and rainy. Still we visited the Prefecture Museum - where we ran into a Japanese model photoshoot - the Kaminoyama Castle, also a museum, and an old Samurai house. The rest of the time was spent in the Niwas' house, where we ate good food and talked all night.

Once I had a long Skype conference call with my four older siblings and their spouses; that was really fun.

Kaminoyama from the top of the Castle

Me arguing with Slice over how to hold chopsticks.

The Niwas were wonderful to us, and we had to leave too soon. We spent two nights in the Tokyo temple patron housing (NO LUXURY there. Coughing, moaning roommates who turned on lights and left, in the middle of the night + almost no padding on wooden bunkbeds + pillows made of strange beans = the worst night EVER. But it was cheap.), went to the temple again, and visited the Tokyo Tower which, they tell you over and over, is taller (and lighter!) than the Eiffel Tower. You can see all of Tokyo from the top ... if there even is an "all of Tokyo."

Seriously, at the top of the tower I stared and stared and stared. Tokyo is ten times bigger than the biggest city you have ever imagined. Almost 13 million people! Its vastness is incomprehensible to a Utah girl like me.

Yesterday we met up with Takakusagi Choro, Slice's trainer, and he took us to Chinatown for a bit. We walked up and down the streets, ate some butaman, and came back to his house to stay.

The couple has a darling baby daughter, almost a month old, and Slice can't stay away from her. He's threatened to kidnap her several times.

That's a good sign, right?

Blogging in Vain

It's been four posts now with nary a comment. Sure, I'll keep blogging for myself ... because I love sitting here and uploading pictures, typing posts, when I could be doing OTHER things ...

like wandering the streets of Kyoto, stumbling upon art exhibits with live performances,

visiting the A-bomb dome in Hiroshima and the magnificent island of Miyajima (supposedly one of the top-three prettiest places in Japan; I can see why).

The mother of one of Slice's companions volunteered to drive from Osaka to Kyoto, pick us (and our luggage) up, and drive us around the city before taking us back to Osaka with her! This is the Kinkakuji or 'Golden Helmet' temple.

We met up with another former companion and hiked through a bit of the Thousand Gates...

Never missing a photo-op, of course.

Saturday we rode up to Nagoya for a mission reunion of sorts ... seven elders and three sisters, plus me. We went to a sweet aquarium that was like Sea World but on a smaller scale. There was even a dolphin show. We loved it.

We all went out for ice cream afterward, pitching in to get two HUGE parfaits. The boys ate that one (which cost about $50) and the girls ate a chocolate one. Mmmm.

Then we missed our train back to Tokyo - the one that would get us to Tokyo in time to take another train to Yamagata, our home for the next few days. So we scrambled and found a hostel in Tokyo instead, riding to Yamagata Sunday morning. When we got to church this sister about knocked Slice over, she was so excited to see him:

She invited us over for dinner after church, and we had a jolly time! (I had a permanent blush on my face, can you tell? Yoshida Shimai was praising everything from my skin to my voice to my family for two straight hours, I couldn't handle it.)

We are now in Yamagata/Yonizawa which is northwest of Kyoto. Much colder. We are staying with a couple who have an awesome old house, mad kimono-dressing skills, and wireless internet!

Remind me later to tell you about

• the creepy guy who sat by me on the bus, forcing us to get off at the next stop
• how we spent an evening hopping from bus to bus, just to see where we would end up
• the homeless guy who took our food (but refused the bananas) at the Nagoya Eki
• how I ATE SQUID, unknowingly, thanks to Slice
• drunk guys in the hostel at 12:30 a.m.
• my near-fainting spell this morning
• the Public Baths ... I have now been to two.
• how I got proficient with the Japanese-style toilet (I call it, affectionately, the water trough)

This was our guesthouse in Gion, Kyoto.

The Goodness

I'm finally at a computer again! Time for a quick update, nothing fancy, sorry.

Saturday we were in Tokyo again and we made a trip to the temple. It took a whole day but it was SO worth it. Sure enough, we ran into Slice's trainer and two more sisters from his mission. Of course we were asked to be the witness couple ... and I had a headset on, which made everything harder ... but our names were from 1647 and 1442. So cool.

Sunday, we had a disaster of a day trying to get to a Stake Conference, then a Sacrament Meeting, while hauling around our luggage and planning for a 3-hour train ride to Kyoto. Ugh. Still, our meeting was in English, and the primary program made me cry. And Kyoto is SO much warmer than Morioka, we don't even need our jackets! So the day wasn't a total failure.

For the last three days we have been wandering around Kyoto, visiting temples and eating gelato (I introduced Slice to the goodness), and admiring the incredible fall colors here. Oh wow. Tomorrow we plan to go to Hiroshima for the day, come back to our "guest house," and leave for Osaka on Friday.

When we got to this ILIAS place, we discovered that it is a fitness club as well as a hostel (of sorts), complete with indoor driving range. Slice jumped on that. So tonight he is hitting golf balls in the manager's own private practice range ... he already taught a little lesson and got paid for it. I love his marketable skills.

Oh, mom! We found salt & pepper shakers today! We've been looking the ENTIRE time and finally found some down a little cobblestone lane, so happy.

Love and miss you all.

PS I have no picture thumbnails, so I'm just going to pick a few at random and upload them. Please enjoy.

Some things "we" learned today

Write down addresses. Don't think you can remember where it is just from a questionable map (and by questionable I mean they point 'north' whichever way seems convenient), write. it. down.

Five minutes is not enough time to get from the bottom of the train station to the top. Not when you have four large suitcases, two backpacks and a purse between you. You WILL miss the train and spend the next 3 hours trying to find another sacrament meeting.

Primary programs = the best!

Book Shink tickets in advance. You don't want seats on the smoking car, and after you get kicked out of the non-smoking car, you really don't want to sit between cars on your suitcases. It is not comfortable. For any length of time.

Japanese train conductors can be really nice, though.

When your lodging place asks you to email them to confirm, you should do it. So they will actually be ready for you.

Otherwise, be prepared to walk the streets for a while before you find the OTHER place you didn't write down the address for.

The adventures, lovies!

drinking holy water
rice cakes

this guy was crazy!

Sweet Yasue in front of her house, on our last day in Morioka.

Nakamura Kyoudai

Yesterday afternoon we went to visit Nakamura Kyoudai, a guy Slice has been telling me about for 18 months now. He is in the Morioka branch, just recently started coming back to church ... for his job he takes photographs of birds, paints pictures from the photos, and then carves the birds out of wood. And paints them.

Slice has told me about him several times, and I always just smile and nod, because how strange does that sound? (A guy who's obsessed with birds?) But after we visited him in his shop I finally understood.

Slice acted as translator while Nakamura Kyoudai talked to us for almost two hours. His shop is a room over his house, with huge -and I mean HUGE- lenses all over the room and bookshelves. We counted 10 camera bodies. He also has easels, mats, blocks of wood and tables full of half-finished carvings, and film canisters of paint he's mixed himself.

While we sat there he told me about how as he sits down to paint, he has to have faith that his art will turn out right. ("But you know all about faith," he said, "we talk about it at church.")
He talked about how he went through a long long winter in his life, but then he met someone who really connected with him, and became a good friend. It was Slice. ("You probably know about that connection, too," he said, pointing to us both.)

He said his life has turned warmer, like spring, because of this friend, and now he has started going back to church.
It was so sweet.

He seemed to love me too, for some reason, and let me pick a carved bird from his table to keep. He also drew a quick picture of me as I sat there.
Then Slice and I looked through the pictures on his camera - and had to pick our jaws up off the floor a couple times. The photos were incredible! I told him I would buy just the photographs, they were so good. I loved his paintings, too; I wish I could afford one.

When it was time to go, Nakamura asked his wife to give us a ride home to Yasue's house ("Do you know what a big deal that is?" Slice asked), and we headed out in the rain. She took us almost the whole way. Then we went to eat sushi.

I now have a beautiful carved European robin. What am I going to do with it?

a word (or 196) about the people

Japanese people are so hardcore.

1. They wear masks. That was the very first thing I noticed in the train station ... at any given time, I bet one in ten is wearing a mask. I guess that's what you do when you live so close together and it's flu season? Or do they wear them all the time?
2. They apologize for not speaking English. Several members came up to me after church on Sunday, wanting to talk, but ashamed of their English-speaking skills. (Which are generally not that bad.) I was like, dude, I'm in YOUR country. Don't apologize!

3. Speaking of ... three alphabets? Whose idea was that? Kanji blows my mind by itself.

4. They wear shoes like this:

and this:

Granted, they don't wear them all the time. But still! Ouch!

5. The typical Japanese girl's outfit includes: heels (high boots or shoes and high socks), barely-there skirt/shorts, and a top. This means BARE LEGS from below the knee to upper-upper-upper thigh. I get frostbite just looking at those girls. Slice says "It's custom." I say "It's dumb."

(And it's really fashion.)

6. They sleep on the floor.

7. They eat with chopsticks. Raw fish, too.