I've got a to-do list a mile long (not to mention 10 lbs. more than a year ago!), two babies and a house to take care of, and sometimes I don't feel like doing any of it. Sometimes I don't even want to walk out my front door. I call it lazy, but actually it scares me a little when I get to that point.
There have been two specific "worst" times the laziness has happened before: when I had strep for six months and right before I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. Every time, though, I wonder if everyone feels like I do and they just deal with it. You know, working moms who train for marathons on no sleep and take meals to needy families while homeschooling? Young fathers who do school and work, both full-time, while filling demanding callings and doing home improvement projects?
Is everyone tired all the time but they do stuff anyway? Do they want to do the things they do? Do I have a mental illness?
Am I making excuses?
Seriously.
The two kids has walloped me hard. I can't do anything. Worse, I don't feel like doing anything and sometimes just give up on it all together and the 2 year old watches shows. Sometimes I think it's depression and sometimes I think it's lack of sleep and sometimes I don't want to think about it.
ReplyDeleteI read something online once that said "Adulthood: If you're not tired, you're doing it wrong." Another gem from the internets, "The reason kids have so much energy is because they siphon it from their parents like midget gasoline thieves."
This is depressing. I guess I wanted to let you know that there's someone else in the trenches with you. Because it makes me feel better to know that other parents feel like this.
To me, it's when my anxieties are high and my depression levels therefore up that I find myself in a rut. So I do my breathing exercises and write out exactly what I'm feeling and identify the ways my thoughts are cognitively skewed. But when I have a little baby and I'm on meds so I know it's not anxiety/depression, it's because I'm freaking tired. Because I have a baby. You are soon your best. You don't have to finish your to-do list to have done your best- you don't even have to look at the list to have done your best. Seriously. Just play with the kids and let go of what you are too tired to do. Buy some paper plates and make cheap food with raw veggies. This too shall pass, ok?
ReplyDeleteI'm also so tired of being tired all the time. I have wondered a lot lately how different I am from others, and I just read a book that was really eye-opening. I'll post about it soon and maybe it will help you, too.
ReplyDeleteDid you have your thyroid checked during your pregnancy with Emma? My thyroid went wacko again with Ryder so they had to change my prescription and I've been a lot better. Have them check it out if you haven't.
ReplyDeleteMy Dear, I know this is sort of a serious post, but may I tell you that you made me snort/laugh? So I'm thinking that if you can be that kind of funny (without meaning to be?) while you're so very tired, well then, you'll be okay. And take naps.
ReplyDeleteBonnie - it's nice to know I'm not alone. :)
ReplyDeleteDani - I haven't had it checked in a year. SO there's a good chance my prescription is off! That's my next move.
Tay, Michelle, Shauna - thank you for your words of wisdom!
Oh and Shauna - I would much rather have people NOT take me seriously than to have them take me TOO seriously! I was secretly hoping someone would say "Everyone feels this way, buck up!"
ReplyDelete:)
Everyone feels this way, buck up! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Syd. That made me laugh.
ReplyDelete