At some point in time between August and October, I had the impression that our trip to Japan would change our lives forever.
Why else would Slice and I, poor newlyweds, have the chance to go to JAPAN for a month? Sure, it's smart to travel before you have kids. Sure we were able to do it cheap because we're young and don't "need" hotels, tour buses, restaurants, or real beds. We could change plans at the last minute (several times); go wherever the wind blew us.
Still, there had to be a Reason. I believe in Reasons.
Plans.
So I've contemplated for five long months just what the reason(s) might be.
Will we adopt a child from overseas someday? Find a job in Japan, live there for months or years? Return in four decades for church service? Will I write a book inspired by my travels in East Asia? (Ha.) I'm open to possibilities.
Obviously, it could take a long time for any of these Reasons to make themselves apparent, if they do at all. But something important has already happened.
I'm finally ready to settle down.
(Bear with me here....)
I've worried for years that I might be unhappy as a stay-at-home mother. I've yearned for travel, post-graduate schooling, a mission; wondered why I married so early. Practically until our Japan trip, I was bitter about not being able to serve a mission.
No longer!
I learned some things in Japan (and the subsequent six weeks).
I learned that I love my bed and my food and family and my jobs - and most of all, my husband.
I am so happy to be eighteen-months-married and looking forward to the birth of our first child.
I admire the missionaries who devote 18 / 24 DIFFICULT months of their lives to serving others and the Lord. Nothing can replace those experiences, I know.
I am grateful for my University degree and everything I have learned in school. I'm grateful for the skills I gained, even if I'm not using them right now, because they have made me a better person.
I'm grateful for the chance I have to be a mother. I love this little dude inside of me.
My husband is going to be the greatest father in the world. I can hardly wait to see it.
All of this to say,
I am content.
That is a real miracle in itself.