1.18.2011

on Secrets and Adulthood

I find it extremely difficult to keep a secret and keep a blog at the same time.

See, I get all consumed with the secret and I want/need to write about it, but obviously I can't here.  Then I have a hard time coming up with anything else to write about (because I'm thinking about the one thing), so the blog suffers.  Among other things.
For example:

Remember that time I was pregnant for three months before I told anybody?  Yeah, that wasn't easy. It would have been impossible, probably, if it hadn't been for the Japan trip that I blabbed about in the meantime.

Remember when my brother was in our living room for two months while he "tried" to get in the military so that he wouldn't go to jail?  That was downright awful.  It put all kinds of stress in my life.  But I didn't feel like I could write about it without my bitterness poisoning this parcel of cyberspace ... so I just didn't write at all.
(And then my other brother got sent home early from Nebraska and, I'm not gonna lie, things with both brothers have just gone downhill since then.)

Also, remember when Slice and I decided to buy a house and had to wait for two months for the whole thing to go through?  That wasn't really a secret.  But I didn't want to write about it because if I did, I would get more excited, and the more excited I get about things the less likely they are to happen ... (it's the pessimist in me) ... so on the blog and in real life, I tried to steer away from the "house" topic.

Point is - when I can't write about something, I have nothing to write about.  Savvy?

In other news, I finally feel like an adult.  I'm doing top-secret research (and writing!) for a book, teaching piano and voice lessons, working to keep my dad's office afloat, and trying to fulfill new church responsibilities (5&6 year old Primary class + Boy Scouts), as well as keep my house semi-presentable.
I am also not doing any of these as well as I should, on account of my two handsome boys.

This means I've made it, right?

2 comments:

Talk to me.