There are people in this world who want all the best for you in life.  Truly.

These people are happy for you when things go well.  They offer encouragement and assistance without being asked; they offer advice only when asked.  If you do ask, they'll tell you about their experiences, then say - "I'm sure that won't happen to you, though!" or "That's what I wish I had known!" or "I hope it goes even better for you!"  And the best part is, they mean it.

You know these people, right?  You befriend them and love them and hang onto those friendships, because they make your life better.  I'm a firm believer in the whole "learn from other people's mistakes" idea.  In fact, I believe that's what we are here for.

There are other people, unfortunately, who don't want you to have what they don't/can't/didn't.

These people caution you about doing anything they don't believe you can do.  They give you unwarranted advice, worst-case scenarios, horror stories.  "Oh BOY are you in for it," they say, or "I hope you know what you're getting yourself into!"  (Like that's helpful.  Thank you, I'll call later for the I-told-you-so speech.)
They might be jealous, they might want pity ... who really knows?

I bet you know some of these other people as well; they are everywhere.  I'm sure I have even been one myself, on more than one occasion.  Lately I've been thinking -- maybe it takes the latter to know the former.  Maybe you have to have opposition if you're ever going to get where you want to go.  Opposition makes us stronger, wiser and hopefully, more compassionate.

But by jove, I am grateful for those who have supported me.  For my parents, who taught me everything and now trust me to make my own decisions.  For my siblings, who treat me as a peer when I need it the most.  For my friends who want the best for me, even when I don't know what I want myself.
I hope I can do the same.


Fig said...

Ha. I am so often one of the second kind of people. I suppose it's motivated by my awareness of all the times in my life when I've been clueless but smug, thinking I knew it all? Like somehow I'm making up for that by telling other people that THEY don't know it all? I have issues. Good times.

Also, I would like to know who was the musical number in your ward today, because it was awesome. Was it Lana?

Jean said...

Oh! That was Carrie Adams. Wasn't it wonderful? If only we could have figured out how to turn down the sound in the gym...

Michemily said...

The most unfortunate thing is when you realize that someone you thought was the first kind turns out to be the second kind. Whatever got you to write about this, I hope it works out for the best.