Everything I DON'T need to know I learned in High School

The correct way to greet someone is ‘HEY.’ If you are unfamiliar with the person, use ‘Hey Teacher,’ ‘Hey Person,’ or possibly ‘Hey 12-year old teacher.’ Even a simple ‘I need some copies’ or ‘I need change’ will work. You must not, in any circumstances, use polite language to catch someone's attention. And don’t even think about asking the person’s name.

Do not walk anywhere quickly. In fact, don’t do anything quickly, except maybe drive.

Speak loudly and carry a big drink.

School rules – especially dress codes – are more like guidelines. Keep them only if you want to.

When a teacher sends you to the library to take a test, that is the perfect time to cheat. Because the library aide would NEVER turn you in!

Spelling (correctly) is not important.

Always park between parking rows, not in them. That way no one can get out or around your fat ugly truck.

Dirty dancing is so fun!

Reading is lame, and politics are for the simple-minded.

Say “like” as much as possible, like, every other word, like, if you can. Even in interviews.

Also in interviews: swearing makes a great first impression. Before introducing yourself, make sure to let a couple cusswords loose. This shows how intelligent you are.

YOU CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT YOUR CELL PHONE. NOT EVEN FOR FIVE MINUTES. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT ULTRA-IMPORTANT TEXTS YOU MIGHT MISS.

Procrastination is the only way to go.

When it’s the end of the year and you can’t check out books anymore, just take them! No one's watching you (not even the cameras), so you can totally get away with it.

High School is so hard.

“Life’s all about fun! Rock on!
But don't try streaking through the school, I tried it and it didn't really work.”
-next year's Student Body Secretary

(See how much I’ve learned already the second time around?)

Sayonara never felt so good

The Yearbook Party starts in three minutes, and I've never been more excited for the end of a school year.

(Did I just say that?)

Oh - are you wondering if I am chaperoning for the party? Haha! Of course I am.

One more week... one more week... one more week...


*P.S. Yesterday I was seriously wanting to chop my hair off. Now after that fab.u.lous picture I'm having fortieth thoughts. Can I do it???

Fit to be Thrown

Once upon a time I was in a Fit for Life class. It was required for graduation, and basically, I hated it.

Not that I have anything against being Fit for Life, or being physically fit or against exercise period, although these things tend to get between me and my sleep. And that makes me cranky.
But in this Fit for Life class we were required to do various physical things like pull-ups, ultimate frisbee and Running a mile and a half in Fifteen Minutes Or Less.
I think it was fifteen minutes? (For the boys it was twelve?)

And lo, it came to pass in those days that I could not a run a mile and a half in fifteen minutes to save my life. I know, because I tried. Three times. And I failed, three times. Then I gave up and walked three miles in 45 minutes so I could save my grade. It wasn’t bad, really, because that got me out of playing kickball or softball or whatever the class was playing, and I hate organized sports even more than I hated running.

Our teacher made up these bogus games with teams and balls and “take two steps then throw!” techniques every single class period. I swear every game was the same, only with a different ball.

Fortunately for me, I had a partner in my hating-fit-for-life club. And she was in my class. It didn’t take long before our teacher knew he had Trouble on his hands, and he started making new rules directed to us.

“Jackie and Rachel, opposite teams!” (We guarded each other.)

“For every two boy-passes, you have to throw it to a girl!” (There were like 4 girls in the class. Somehow we were never open.)

At least Jackie could run.

One day we played hockey with foam-tipped hockey sticks and a ball for a puck. Jackie and I slid our goals together, sat facing each other, and made up a fencing routine. That one lasted quite a while, until
“Girls, go play with the rest of the class!”

Oh - and we also played tennis. I say “played” because that’s exactly what Jackie and I did. We didn’t care about technique, number of volleys, getting the ball over the net? Honestly? We laughed more than we hit, and that was just fine with me.

One night during the school year a group of my friends decided to play tennis at the high school courts. Jackie and I joined them, but we sat and tossed balls at each other, naming them as we went. Then we started throwing them at the rest of our friends who were actually trying to play. It was totally the best part of the night.

Let me tell you how much I wanted to throw balls at Slice yesterday.
But somehow, I knew it wouldn't be funny to him.

6:00 a.m.

Alarm sounds, Slice turns it off and sits back on the bed.

Slice: "You wanna go?"
Jean: "Do you?"
S: "Yeah, I want to go, but if you don't want to we don't have to."
J: "We can go. It will be good."

Slice gets dressed while I stay in bed, eyes still closed.

S: "You know we don't have to go."
J: "No, it's fine ... I'll get up. It's just ... I don't think you realize how awful I am at tennis. REALLY. You are going to be extremely disappointed."
S: "Whatever. You'll be fine."

Famous last words.

Hurry up and shoot me down

image from here

I guess I don't have to worry about it now.
It appears that the job has been filled.

(Huh? I compiled my application as quickly as I could, considering how much I had to do this weekend, but four days was too long?)

So in other news,

• We got $300 more on our federal tax return than we were expecting. Don't you just love mistakes like that?
• Slice won us some sweet stuff at a raffle last weekend. Good job honey. Looks like there will be some swimming and over-nighting in our near future. We need it.
• I learned today, thanks to my new blog friend, that my Vienna roommate is currently serving a mission in Germany! I'm so jealous. That brings us to ... three so far. Three girls in my group who've served missions in Germany or Austria. Another served in Budapest, Hungary (which we visited), and another in Argentina. And three more had served before the study abroad. Not bad for a group of 30 girls! Oh how I miss them!
  
  We took some more pictures last week.
  
  
• I accompanied our orchestra to the State competition last Friday, and they played really well. I'm so proud of the little munchkins! You can tell how proud I am when I get tears in my eyes. Seriously.
  
• Oh, do you need a chaperone? I am in high demand these days. Call early, folks, the schedule fills up fast.

But you should first be aware that I am losing my patience with high school kids - one irritating day at a time. Boy, am I losing my patience.
Good thing I had a lot to begin with!

(Right?)

Dear Reader,

A position for full-time history teacher just opened up at the Junior High.

Please tell me to apply.

letter

May 12, 2010
Dear Mr. Hancock,

I would like to take this opportunity to comment on the nomination of my husband, Keith Eddington for the opening in the Eighth Judicial District Court. I would like to tell you why I think he would be an excellent choice for that position.

Keith has been practicing law since 1988, after graduating from BYU law school. We took the long road, graduating with 5 children, working our own way through college, and have really appreciated that experience. He was hired by Larsen and Farr, a small law firm in West Valley City as a clerk. This became a full time offer and became a “baptism by fire” for him, as he handled hundreds of indigents clients per month right out of law school, and was in front of a judge constantly. Just before he graduated Mr. Farr fell asleep at the wheel driving to work one day, killing himself and another in an auto accident. Keith had to come up to speed quickly and become a producing attorney in a very short period of time. This became a valuable learning experience for him as he learned the value of efficiency as an attorney in helping clients, and in helping the judge in doing his job. He learned the law quickly and thoroughly with his constant work in court. He has always enjoyed being treated in a professional manner in every court he appeared in throughout the Wasatch front.

He has always enjoyed the variety of cases that come into a small firm, experiencing and learning the law in so many different areas. Keith also enjoyed taking cases that took him out of the Salt Lake Valley as he would take one of his children with him to different rural towns in Utah, stopping to fish or sightsee. His experience in front of a judge in the smaller towns was quite often a frustrating one, as he would comment on being “home-towned” by certain rural judges. He knows the law well, and experienced a good deal of remorse for his clients when their case was lost because of what appeared to be a favoring of the local attorneys and not on the merits of their case.

In 2001, we decided to try rural life ourselves, leaving the growing populace of South Jordan. We chose to move to Roosevelt and Keith opened a private practice here. I have a sister that had “emigrated” here earlier and really loved the area. We quickly became huge fans of the Uintah Basin and have tried to get more family to join us as we love the lifestyle, the people, the opportunities for our children’s education, and Keith has his own little ranch with a dozen cows! The community has been very good to us and we love it here. Even my parents, lifelong residents of Sandy, are enjoying their retirement here.

Sadly, Keith has experienced some of the same legal issues here. The “local” attorneys will occasionally win in court when the facts just are not there. He has found the courts here to be a more casual place where the professionalism he enjoyed so much in Salt Lake is not always present. Attorneys and their clients in general are not treated with the decorum that should prevail and as a result, the experience clients have in the court system is not as positive as it could or should be.

If Keith were given this opportunity, he would strive to increase the respect shown between judges, attorneys and their clients, helping other (clients and attorneys) to always feel that they have had “their day in court”, receiving a verdict that is based on current laws and facts that are admissible, not on popularity.

He would strive to increase the efficiency in our local court system, showing more consideration for the time spent by clients and attorneys in waiting for the judge, modeling the way we do things after the efficient ways he has seen employed in the Fourth and other District Court systems. Our community has grown and I believe would benefit from and appreciate this updating in our local legal system.

Keith is a compassionate, caring individual. He has always been a great negotiator and has always acted in court with a level head and a calming influence. He has always shown respect for his clients, other attorneys and those on the bench. He does not believe in overcharging for his services, nor in trying to “run up the bill” to pad his pocket. He is a man of integrity, with a sharp mind and a fair spirit. He makes good decisions. He knows the law well and looks forward to studying it more closely.

We know that being a judge is a huge responsibility, and have not taken this decision of his to apply lightly. We know it will affect our lives in a big way, but we also know the difference that a fair, compassionate judge can have in the life of a soul. We have been in court ourselves the last few years with a son that we adopted from Russia as a 6 year old. He has struggled with “attachment disorder” as a result of his being raised in an orphanage and that has given rise to some honesty issues. Thank God for the blessing of a caring judge (the Honorable Judge Johansen from Price) that gave him the help that he needed, giving us the hope we needed, in a time of a great personal crisis (the local judges all recused themselves because of knowing Keith so well).

We have always admired those who have stepped up and given their lives to serve us. It will be an honor for him to give back to our wonderful community and to our country. Our legal system is certainly not perfect – neither are the judges and attorneys that practice therein, but ours is the best in the world! Thank you for this opportunity to share my thoughts.

Sincerely,

Diana Eddington

Roosevelt, Utah

Also

I went to the late-night showing of Star Trek last night with my mom and Angie.
It totally blew my mind...

Gonna have to see it again, with my Slice, so he can explain some things for me.

It was pretty cool.

I'm so bored and it shows

May makes me tired.
Bored.
Unmotivated.
Indulgent.
Lazy?

(You can stop reading . . . NOW.)

I just want to curl up in a hammock and read
all day, every day.
Why is that?
It’s not like it's February and I’m sick of the weather.
I’m pretty excited about it, actually.

But when I’m not reading I’m wishing
for summer, for next week,
for tomorrow,
To be anywhere but here.

(Travelzoo makes this a kagillion times worse.
We could go to Ireland for 500 bucks! Tokyo 550!
Florida for 90! So why am I still here?!)

We are in transit again,
in the process of moving and deciding and paying for
Stuff.
Moving always ruins my life for a little while.
As much as I like to deny it, I really am a creature of habit.

This time around, though, I’m dreaming
of things I could do with my own house.
Hardwood floors, music studio, guest bedroom, gardens!
Never mind that we’re poor and I’m a widow in the summer
because Slice is gone ALL THE TIME working
(darn you golfers!)
So I would have to do it mostly myself.
And that would be No. Fun.

Still reading? Sorry…

This isn’t even what’s on my mind today.

I’m really thinking about music and how -
Wouldn’t it be great if I had my own studio?
Surely then I would practice and give lessons
And quit wasting time by reading all day every day.

Wouldn’t that be great?

Never have I ever ... or, Should I really be admitting this?

The following may give you license to hate me,
or at least think that I am un-American and uncultured or any number of other terrible things.
I know this because people have before.
-Inspired by Tay

I have never read a book by Mark Twain. Or John Grisham, Orson Scott Card, Laura Ingalls Wilder, the Bronte sisters, Louisa May Alcott. (I do love Charles Dickens, however, and Jane Austen and Madeleine L'Engle. I have also read an impressive number of Baby-Sitter's Club books.)

I have never seen a John Wayne movie. Not one! I also don’t really know who Clint Eastwood is. Couldn’t pick him out of a crowd if you paid me to.

I have never watched The Wizard of Oz all the way through. Have no desire to.

Speaking of, I don’t know what the Wicked hype is all about. Really, I don’t. Some of the music irritates me and I was FURIOUS when two girls sang a song from Wicked at their Seminary graduation. The gall! Just thinking about it gets me riled up again.

I hate a lot of Disney movies. This took me a long time to realize – and even longer to admit. Some of the titles on my hate list:

• Pete’s Dragon
• Pinocchio
• Mary Poppins (shame! I know! It scared me when I was little)
• Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
• Fantasia
• Bambi
• Alice in Wonderland
• The Hunchback of Notre Dame
• All sequels to earlier movies (i.e. Cinderella II, The Little Mermaid II, Pocahontas II)

I have never watched an episode of American Idol. I’ve only seen two snippets, really; last year’s finale with Cook/Archuleta and an audition episode in 2005. I have also never seen an entire episode (or snippets in most cases) of ER, Scrubs, The Simpsons, Lost, CSI, Grey’s Anatomy, Saturday Night Live, Law & Order, Gilmore Girls, Gossip Girl, Desperate Housewives, Heroes…
You name it, I probably haven’t seen it. It would be easier to tell you what television I have watched in the last five (or so) years. Am I really missing anything?

I read the newspaper every day, cover to cover, until I get to the Sports section. Then I skip right over it unless something happens to catch my eye. Like, anything with “BYU” or “Y” in the headline. He he he.

So what do you think?
Where should I start?

this is for the birds

I've been meaning to write about this for quite a while now, and I finally have some pictures as proof.

A story for you:

There's a stretch of road between Duchesne and Heber that offers great views of oil rigs, sagebrush and run-down mobile homes. Fortunately (or unfortunately), also animals. If you traverse that road more than once in your life, chances are good that you will see some elk or antelope or jackrabbits.
Several times now, Slice and I have seen an eagle.

I'm pretty sure it's the same eagle, and I'm pretty sure this eagle has built a nest close to the road, because we see it in the same place every time we go. Every time, Slice freaks out and asks me if we can stop to watch it, take pictures of it, feed it, whatever.
(Joking about the feeding. But we have seen it feasting on old carcasses.)

Then last Friday, right by Steinaker, we saw a pheasant running by the side of the road. True to tradition, Slice freaked out and stopped the car - in the middle of the road - to go chase after it with the camera.


He's a little obsessed with birds, bird-watching and related things. He tells me this is because he had a mission companion who got him hooked.
I don't really care why, I just think it's funny. And now I'm going to go look for other pictures he's taken of birds, so I can add them to this post.

Beam me up

I used our telephoto lens for the first time, and WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?

So cool.

The fierce warriors who buried Niebs

Lake Steinaker has some sweet brittle sandstone along its shore. This is what the boys were breaking up and throwing in the water.
(good for skipping, too)

Of course, they broke off a huge slab of rock, carried it over to the beach and made a tombstone out of it. Complete with (5-foot?) muddy hole.

Don't worry - Sherm didn't go near the hole. He was also NOT thrown in the water.

Being a chaperone is scary business.

The hooligans also made a sand volcano and built a fire underneath it. A real fire! I wish I had some pictures of the flames that came out of that thing.


Good times with NHS.

Boys will be boys

Last Friday Slice and I chaperoned for an NHS trip. What started out as an over-nighter became an all-nighter, became a four-hour trip to a lake just outside Vernal.
(Planning. Personally, we thought it was a good progression.)

We surprised ourselves by having fun!

I promised to post a bunch of pictures - but for right now, these will have to do.

Males cannot be near water without throwing things in it.

Doesn't that just make you wonder what they are carrying?

Stay tuned.

A non-poem tribute, for the Occasion

When Angie was planning her wedding
(for about 6 weeks)
we women spent a couple of days wedding dress-shopping.
It was a lot of fun.

We started at a little local store, where I tried on some formal dresses
just to see how I looked,
and because I hoped to go to a school dance sometime in the near future.

Only one of them stole my heart -
a lovely purple, slender, shimmery thing that had obviously been in the store for a while (judging by the price tag) -
I wanted it, someday.
I tucked that away for future reference.

Nine months later (yes nine!)
I was awoken in the wee hours of the morning
by a strange alarm clock under my bed,
a rose, and a note
asking me to my Senior Homecoming.
(Don’t worry, I got him back.)

First chance I got, I drove to the store with my mother
to see if The Dress was still there...
It was.
But, I couldn’t pay for it then, so I sighed and walked out the door,
planning to return the next week.

Monday I returned and scanned the shelves with a sinking feeling.
Not there.
The lady at the counter recognized me and asked for my name.
Then she pulled a dress bag off the rack and handed it to me.
“All paid for,” she said.
My dress! And it was already paid for!
Dad...

Dad had gone and bought the dress for me,
wouldn’t even let me pay him back.

My dad does great things like that.

And speaking of that guy…
It’s his birthday today!

(That's actually the point of this post, it's hard to tell, I know)



Last night Slice was asking me what my dad likes to do, for fun,
we were discussing ideas for gifts.
I thought.
And thought.
And thought.

“Nothing really,” I said, “he has no hobbies.”
“He just likes to be with his kids. And to make them happy.
He likes to fish – with his kids, and camp – with his kids, and work with his kids,
And watch BYU football,
but that’s it.
I think he just likes to read.
(That’s why he’s impossible to buy gifts for
and I give him books every birthday, Father’s Day and Christmas.)”

I never know what else to do.

The great part is, though, I know he really doesn’t want anything
but for me to know he loves me,
(I do)
and for his family to be truly happy.
(we are)

Isn’t that the mark of a great man?