on Coming to Terms, and Pearls

Years ago I attended a lecture at BYU about the concept "to be."   Yes I did.
The speaker talked all about and around being - for one thing, the admonition "be ye therefore perfect" - and at one point he said something like, "But who ever said that you'll be happy if you achieve your dreams?"

Uhhh, what?

Here's the thing:  I got it.  I understood what he was saying then, and I've understood it ever since.   Dreams aren't everything, and achieving them won't necessarily bring you happiness - especially if they're the wrong dreams in the first place.  Subsequent years have brought poignant reminders of where my true happiness lies.

Which isn't to say I have followed his counsel faithfully.  Indeed, a couple months ago I read this article (thanks C. Jane) and was surprised to find myself in it:
 “They can’t bear the thought that saying yes to one interest or opportunity means saying no to everything else, so they spend years hoping that the perfect answer will emerge. What they don’t understand is that they’re looking for the perfect answer when they should be looking for the good-enough answer.”

Folks, that's me right there. Was? Is?  Hard to say.  I like to keep my options open.  Throughout my school years I was waiting for the perfect answer to present itself, the one career choice (or multiple career choices) that would challenge and fulfill me in every way, while still leaving room for life changes and family.  And, hey, I wanted it for my husband too.

(Newsflash: Doesn't Exist! Work is work and Tiger Woods has problems too!)

Over the last year Slice and I have come to grips with multiple realities: money, time, family, opportunity.  We've had to let go of prejudices and dreams in order to find answers and build other dreams.  It's been a long, slow process.  Often painful.

But we are doing it.  Slice loves his new job.  He really does.  Which is a FAR cry from the misery that was last summer at the golf course BEFORE he got fired.

And, I'll admit it, I love the paychecks.  I love having Slice home almost half the time and seeing him happy the other half.  I love planning dates and trips and investments.
I love the string of (real!) pearls that he brought home for me Saturday, completely out of the blue....


Danielle said...

I'm going to e-mail this to Tyson. Right now.

Angie said...

Brownie points for Dorian...how sweet! He must really love you. :)

Linnea said...

Great post, Rach. Thanks, this really spoke to me.

I'm bummed I didn't get to see you while you were here. :-(