I've been pondering on this for an embarrassingly long time, so humor me please:
It seems I am a Hit-and-Run person.
What is a "hit-and-run person?" Why, it's a term I just made up. You know those people who you went to school with and got to be pretty good friends, but you went separate ways and haven't spoken since Elementary/Middle/High School/Junior year of college?
Yeah, that's me.
I had a lot of really awesome friends in Middle School (that link was for you Leia), and when I moved to Roosevelt I was devastated, to say the least. But I made some great friends in high school too. They were mostly boys.
(Maybe this is the main problem.)
Then I went to college and, as I've said before, I lived with twenty different girls. I don't think any of them hated me? I liked all of them!
At the end of my third year I started dating Slice and, as I've said before, the hometown homies shunned me.
What the? Is it Slice? Is it me? He is pretty antisocial sometimes, but I'm always happy to see or hear from old friends. Maybe I just don't make enough visible effort.
Anyway.
I'm not bitter anymore, promise. It just makes me wonder if we never really were as good of friends as I thought ... or ... what is everyone else doing that I am not?
How do you keep old friendships going?
Or do you?
I don't have a single friend from high school whom I still see on a regular basis. Minus my cousin Amy, I guess, but she's related so I think she's categorically different.
ReplyDeleteI thought this was pretty normal ... are there lots of married people out there still chumming around with the same people they've known their whole lives?
One of the best things that ever happened to me was moving to Oklahoma and making all new grownup married friends, who knew nothing of my child- and teenage-hood.
So ... I guess you could move? :-)
I've found that even when you don't feel like it's reciprocated, you try a couple more times. And then give up and make new friends that appreciate you.
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, be very enthusiastic about the friends you currently have so you don't have to worry about their friendship status with you in a couple of years.
I tend to keep up with people I enjoy keeping company with very well, so even if you hurt my feelings without knowing it, I won't hold it against you. Because I think you're cool. And Slice totally owes us free golf lessons for Sean since he started this whole golf nonsense with him in the first place. (mostly kidding)
Interesting to see your perspective on this. I've always thought it would have been nice to live in the town we grew up in and keep up friendships with others that stayed around (we left right out of college). But evidently that isn't always the case it appears! It has been fun to recently reconnect after 30+ years with many through FB, though. Hopefully some of your dweeby semi-friends will come around in 30 years.....patience is a virtue!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness...how is that link still up? I'm a little afraid to go look at it, maybe I'll get braver in a minute.
ReplyDeleteFriendships are interesting in that some take way more work than others. I don't know...I feel lucky that I still have some close friends from growing up, and Jeff and I have made a lot of wonderful friends since being married. I feel like we've really only been successful at that because we've put ourselves out there and invited people over for dinner and games a lot. And we've put ourselves out there before only to be shot down - people who decline invitations again and again until we finally give up and realize they aren't that into us, or couples that we just don't really gel with. But we keep trying.
I actually discovered around my sophomore year of college that I'm not a crazy party person like I always thought I was. I hated going to big parties where I knew hardly anyone. I prefer smaller groups of good friends.
As for the people from high school - I do still see a few -but not necessarily on a regular basis. What's regular? Does it count if it's once a month? :-) Actually, for a while Kari, Katie and I were getting together once a week to watch trashy reality tv and talk. That was great - I loved seeing them and laughing and being part of their lives again.
I don't know if this comment really even has a point. But one thing I will say, we did have a great group of awesome friends in Middle School, and I think we really helped each other get through some hard times. We were a great support system for each other. My friends were so incredibly important to me at that point in time, and I think it was great for me in a lot of ways - I think it sort of paved the way for my character to start developing into what it did during my teenage years. I'm a little sad that I rarely (if ever) talk to some people that were in that group now. But at the same time, we've grown and moved on - and we don't need that support system anymore. I still think we'd have a great time if we all met up for lunch or something - we'd still feel like friends, I'm sure. Circumstances, locations, everything is just different now.
If you guys are ever up here, you can come hang out with us. :-) We'll be your friends anytime.
Wow, long comments! Thanks guys.
ReplyDeleteFig, I have been surprised over and over that my classmates have kept in touch so well. Maybe I only see it because of Facebook, etc. But we're WORKING on moving ... we'll see if that changes anything?
Tay, you missed free golf lesson month, but maybe he could squeeze you in sometime. Ü It really is nonsense though.
Linnea, I only wish that I could remember the OTHER site we (you?) put up. Not the Rosyville one. I thought Laurel did it, but she swears she didn't. Do you know what I'm talking about?