Tractors

Several months ago Slice called Roosevelt City to tell them about our sidewalk problem.

We have a cluster box in our front yard (Roosevelt doesn't have individual mailboxes, just cluster boxes) which means we get extra foot traffic.  And we have multiple neighbors with walkers/wheelchairs who couldn't use the sidewalk in front of our house without getting stuck.  Not too mention kids on bikes, skateboards, scooters...
Two weeks ago, someone finally came to fix it.

Liam was enthralled.  To say the least.

He pulled out his skid steer first, then the rest of his tractors.  The next day when the cement truck came, he pulled out his own little cement truck.  Boys and their tractors.

I promise I'll start taking pictures with something other than my phone.....

Every other Sunday

Every other Sunday I have myself quite convinced that no one has ever had it as hard as I do.  At church.

No one has ever had to take two kids 18 months apart (one of them being Liam) to church by him/herself every other week (every week alone would be easier) in a ward where Sacrament Meeting is last.  LAST I TELL YOU.

MG always needs a nap sometime during the block, but will she fall asleep in my arms like every other baby does? No. Never. She just gets crankier and crankier.  Liam loves nursery so much that he's wired by the end of the two hours, and does he want to sit quietly for over an hour afterward?  No.  Never. It's a full-time job just to keep him occupied.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: church is the worst.  The worst thing about Slice's job, the worst thing about having two babies so close in age, the worst thing about being in this ward.  Sacrament Meeting last!
I wouldn't go if I didn't believe in it so (darn) much.

On a different but related note, this is what happens when I try to take a picture of Liam:

And this is what happens when I try to take a picture of my girl MG:

Good thing they're cute, right?

Living Vicariously

Remember Matt?  My sidekick?

Remember how I taught him everything he knows and turned him into a singer?
(hee hee)

Remember how last week he just walked into Sister Hall's office and sang for her?

Remember how she PUT HIM RIGHT INTO BYU'S CONCERT CHOIR??

Remember how I auditioned for that choir five years ago but didn't make it?

Can't. Wait.  For the concert.
You done me proud, bro.

A Fate Worst Than ... Pregnancy

Most of you already know that after years of putting it off, I finally got my wisdom teeth out.  All four were impacted, the bottom two were growing sideways into my other teeth, I was developing cysts and having periodic infections plus jaw pain.  It was time.

Anyway, I wrote that I got them out on Facebook.  What I didn't write on Facebook - and what may or may not actually be true - is that I'd rather go through childbirth UNMEDICATED than have oral surgery.
Let's talk about the pros and cons here.

Oral surgery cons: numb mouth (HATE), teeth pulled (HATE), mouth holes, stitches (DOUBLE HATE), gauze (you get it), bleeding, drooling, inability to swallow, constant pain for at least a week.  I can't think of any pros.  Maybe being under deep sedation during the most excruciating part.

Childbirth cons: nine months of differing stages of misery, excruciating pain for hours on end, excessive bleeding, possible complications.  Pros: a beautiful baby that you made! People bring you meals! And gifts!  You can eat whatever you want!  You get to snuggle a little sweet-smelling creature that sleeps most of the day!

Here's the thing: I've had to ask for extra pain meds (something other than Motrin) only once after childbirth, for cramps.   I got a dose of Percocet.
Over the last week I have been on Lortab constantly because if I let it wear off the pain is terrible.  It is messing with me worse than any hormones, yo.  Crazy dreams, depression, irritability, fuzzy vision - occasionally feels like the cogs in my brain are slipping out of place.

I guess a baby costs four times as much?

Golden Arches

It's a rare opportunity we have, living right next to the busiest McDonald's in the state.*

We get the extra traffic by the house during mealtimes - at all times, really - fast food garbage dumped on our lawn, greasy smells wafting through the neighborhood, thumping music at all hours from the cars in the drive-thru, random cars parked in our back lot because there's not enough parking next to the building.  (Not for long!  They're tearing down the house across the street to put in more parking!)

Last night was the biggest treat.  Slice and I woke up around 3:00 this morning because our dog was barking incessantly.  We listened for a while before Slice went out to investigate.
I kept hearing a honking sound, and then Hagen would start up barking furiously again.  I wondered if there was someone in our back lot with a duck call or something, pestering the dog.

After a while Slice returned to report that there was a car parked in the McDonald's drive-thru.  He couldn't see it at first because the building was closed for the night, the lights off.  Whoever was in the car had a bike horn that they were honking at my dog.  To make him bark.  At 3:00 in the morning.

Seriously, people?  You don't have something better to do?


*Not an exaggeration.  It's fairly well-known that our McD's is the top-grossing in Utah.  That's what happens when you have no other fast food choices within 25 miles.

Easy as Cake

Please tell me I'm not the only one who does this.

Every time I plan an event that involves food (and don't they all?), I decide to try a new recipe.
Every time, something goes wrong.

Yesterday I decided to take the bull by the horns and make this cake I've been drooling over for months.  (Don't click the link unless you're prepared for some droolage.)  It was my birthday!  I needed an awesome cake!

Here are some things that should have - but didn't - cross my mind beforehand.

1. I do not own a KitchenAid.  Or a Bosch.  Still using a hand mixer, baby!  Not good for a cake that ends up weighing FIVE POUNDS.

2. I do not have enough brown sugar.

3. I have to refill the flour canister, which will require opening a new bag of flour which is downstairs in the closet under the stairs which I hate.

4. Slice decides to take a phone survey.  It lasts half an hour.  In the meantime Liam is "helping" me, which means he is sticking his fingers in the bowl repeatedly for "tastes" and pouting when I tell him to stop.  MG is hungry in her high chair.

5. A lady is coming to buy something from me.  She stands at the the door knocking/ringing while I am running the hand mixer, MG is fussing, Liam is pouting in his room, and Slice is downstairs on the phone.

6. My bundt cake pan is (apparently ...?) smaller than normal. I split the batter between two pans thinking that will be sufficient, because the recipe says she filled a few cupcakes in addition to her bundt.
After 20 minutes of baking, I open the oven to find BOTH pans spilling over.  A lot.
An hour later I open the oven again and see this.

Why.  WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF.

Growing Girl

Last weekend I went to a bunch of yard sales around town.
(I would say I went "yardsaling" but I hate that phrase even though everyone uses it, and is there a correct way to spell it?  Is it even a word?  Does anyone else care?)

Here's the thing: MG is eating herself out of all her clothes.  Seriously, that girl can eat.  She treats every meal as if it were her last. We can't keep up with it, and neither can the onesies.

So I've been checking yard sales, online and off.  Everyone knows you can get baby girl clothes in great condition at yard sales, because everyone goes overboard buying tonsssss of clothes for their girls, because little girl clothes are just so darn cute.  Then the clothes hardly get used, if in fact they are used at all.

But here's the other thing: every other baby in the world is a girl MG's age.
Okay, not really.  It just seems like it because at every yard sale I frequented, the 6-9 month clothes were the only ones gone.  Same story online!  All 6-9 month girl clothes are snatched up the instant they are offered, and I've had a crazy time trying to find anything.

Finally I caught someone BEFORE she offered the clothes up to the internet, and I went to her house before the others could get there, and I got a bunch of cute stuff (too much?) for cheap.
Which is good, because MG will probably outgrow it all in no time.

I cursed the LMC position

It's been a long time since I talked about the LMC (for you newer readers, the Library Media Center) at Union High School.   I haven't worked there for two years, so it hasn't been on my mind too much.

HOWEVER.  I'm pretty sure I cursed the library aide position.  The lady I replaced was there for years, maybe decades.  I worked there for two years.  After quitting full-time but staying after the position was cut in half, I left for a month to Japan, then came back to tell everyone that I was pregnant.  (Pregnancy worked out perfectly though - I finished the end of the school year, Liam was born three days later.)  I tried to work a couple weeks in August with Liam at home with my sister, then quit for good.

The person who replaced me (also in my ward) was a repeat.  She got pregnant during the school year, had a baby in July, and decided not to go back to work.

The lady who replaced her was the mom of one my high school friends.  Not likely to get pregnant.  However, she did accept a 4th grade teaching position and quit the LMC job at the end of the year.

The position was open once again.

I know the lady who filled it this time, another mom-of-older-kids.  I don't think she knows who I am, but I'll be watching with great interest to see what happens at the end of this new school year.  Mwahahahaha.


(Also - poor Bill, having to train a new library aide 5 times in 6 years!)

Two videos that I think you should watch

How to get your man to cook more, in three easy steps

Step 1: Buy a grill.

It doesn't have to be super fancy.  In fact, if you can find one on display outside Walmart, and it's the last one and is dirty and/or a little banged-up (and it's almost the end of grill season), the Walmart manager just might give you a discount of, say, 20%.  Maybe even more.


Step 2: Buy food.  

Steak, chicken, peppers, burgers, pineapple.  The men usually go for the meat, but you can probably slip some fruit and veggies in there.  You might also want to buy some grill accessories like tongs, a spatula, a fork, and a scrubber.  They're not necessary but they make the whole "grilling experience" more complete, and that's what we're going for here.

Step 3: Enjoy your meals. 

Compliment your man on how great his grilling skills are.  You know how men like to be complimented, it encourages them.  You might be eating off the grill every night!  That means your man is cooking every night!  And this, my friends, is a very good thing.

That's all it takes guys!

Awesome, right?